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Uncovering Your Purpose - Part One - Debra Trappen
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Uncovering Your Purpose – Part One

Many people (including me) have interchanged the terms PURPOSE and WHY… When we do this – it is easy to get PURPOSE confused with our values/guiding principles and jumbling them up into our “WHY”!   These concepts and more are also covered in RADICAL MASTERY. A collaborative coaching program for high-performance entrepreneurs.  Read more here. 

This two-part post shares my thoughts on how and why defining each of these areas is so important… and how you can leverage the results along the way.



Part One:

What is my purpose?

Nearly every single day, I have a conversation with a friend, client, or Fire Up! community member about defining their “PURPOSE”.

  • Some people have a foggy idea of what theirs is…
  • Some have NO ideas what it is… 
  • Others are so overwhelmed by the concept of UNCOVERING THEIR PURPOSE that they shrink back and hide from the process… 
  • Most of the time – people are getting their purpose confused with their motivations (aka Values)


Let’s start with clarifying the term PURPOSE.


  • Your purpose is what I love to call your Tribal Talent – a special skill/gifting/talent YOU bring to the table that your village, squad, team, tribe, family, etc. seeks from YOU – ALL THE TIME!
  • You feel it comes so naturally to you that everyone must have it and it really isn’t that special.
  • Your “purpose” or skill is NOT unique, but how you do it and where you focus it – IS UNIQUE TO YOU!

    This is usually the mind bender for many… There is this misconception that we are the only person who has our purpose. We look to Mother Theresa, Gandhi, or Oprah… and think our purpose should look like theirs in size, shape, and vision.
    I am here to tell you – YOU can be the Oprah of YOUR tribe!  Just because Oprah says the things she says to her mega audience, does not preclude you from adding your own sizzle and style and then sharing it with YOUR audience – even when that audience is 10 people.Every tribe needs a Tony Robbins, Ina Garten, Madeleine Albright, Joel Osteen, Christine Caine, Brene Brown, and so on…  


Now, let me share an example of how PURPOSE, WHY, & VALUES can be confused:

I work quite a bit with GenX Women who are starting their own businesses, getting ready to reenter the workforce, or trying to figure out WHAT IS NEXT!  Some are raising small children…  Some are raising tweens… Some are already empty-nesters.

When we start the “purpose” conversations, most of them cringe.

Many feel guilty or shameful for “being this age” and not knowing what it is.  

Shame off you, if this is you, too!

Many automatically say their CHILDREN are their purpose.  Regardless if they are women who have been blessed to raise their children 24/7 and call themselves SAHM’s, Chief Home Operator, Queen Of The Castle, or (fill in the blank) OR if they are killing it in Corporate America or as a business owner to bring home the bacon…

This is where I put on the breaks.

First, we start with a shame OFF you session and reaffirm that NOW is the time to define it before another day passes by!

Second, I say this with love: Your children are not your purpose!

YourLifesPurposeIsNotDirectlyConnectedToOneSpecificPersonYour purpose is not directly connected to another SPECIFIC person, period.  Your children are a divine gift, a significant responsibility, and a magnificent motivation… but, they are NOT your purpose on the planet.  

THINK ABOUT IT THIS WAY–> Do you believe that your purpose did not begin until you gave birth or that it will abruptly end when they move out of the house?

This is why I believe so many parents (mostly Mama Bears) deal with such depression when their children move out and start lives of their own.  It WOULD BE depressing if you thought your life’s purpose was over when that happened!  Rejoice in the fact that your purpose is still fully intact when your littles walk out the door.

The amazing news is that being a parent is allowing you to tap into your purpose – in some way, shape or form. When you define your purpose you will start to see it in your interactions with your children, spouse, friends, family, colleagues, and beyond. Those are moments to celebrate!

To give some clarity to this, here are some examples of simple “PURPOSE STATEMENTS” from past clients:

  • I am the peacemaker.
  • I entertain people.
  • I listen to and comfort people.
  • I connect people.
  • I inspire people.
  • I teach people.
  • I solve problems.
  • I feed people.
  • I encourage people.
  • I speak the truth.


You get the idea and can definitely see why many parents get their purpose confused with parenting.  Parenting taps into ALL of these talents. *wink*

The next step is uncovering YOUR purpose so that you can see it flow every single day – and celebrate it!


Read PART TWO here!


Resources around this post:

Check out this chat I had with Tina Mitchell on the topic of uncovering your purpose…


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