22 Oct I walked a LLAMA.
It’s Monday… and that means it is time for some sass + fire in the form of a #MoxieMemo!
During the last 11 days, I was off the grid.
I slowed down to share time with a dear friend, connect and pour into her sweet girls, attend a women’s conference and worship with besties, visit my 94-year-old Grammy, brother, and niece… and refill my #soultank.
Even though a major part of my purpose is to remind each of you to care for yourself, to take time and slow down… I still find it painful to step away sometimes. I don’t want to miss an opportunity to raise you up and in the process – I can lose myself. I know… I know… I still have much to learn, too, my friends. The struggle is REAL. However, as I grow older, I have learned to stop listening to those voices (sooner) and BOOK IT. This time, my trip included some amazing, soultank-filling moments… including the following:
I walked a llama (yes, a LLAMA, named Mizz Alaska!), painted pumpkins, rescued bugs from imminent death, built a fort, watched countless episodes of Fancy Nancy and introduced those mini mamas to The Neverending Story! I enjoyed a Dairy Queen cone in 35° weather while driving through my family’s farm country with my Gram and hubby, nibbled homemade pumpkin bread paired with delish coffee and amazing conversation, saw my Minnesota childhood home, enjoyed a candlelight dinner with live violin music, kissed boo-boos, raked leaves, bought and wrangled unicorns, brought home fairies, covered eyes during the scary parts of movies, introduced my awesome brother and niece to framily, and so sooooo much more.
It could not have come at a better time. It was absolutely, positively GOD TIMING.
The truth is, I was close to a meltdown and as I mentioned earlier, even though I knew time away was so needed – I was feeling guilty about it. The signs were EVERYWHERE. Does this sound familiar? The simplest of requests were irritating me. My smiles and solid advice were being replaced by obnoxious eye rolls and snappy retorts like – WHAT! (mostly inside my head, but STILL!).
The cranky pants I describe during my keynote talks about firing up your moxie was staring back at me in the mirror. If it weren’t for my morning devo time and evening yoga practice – I am sure there would have been heads rolling somewhere!
Even though I had a million excuses of why I shouldn’t be taking this time – I got on the plane, cuddled into my cozy upgraded seat in row 5, and took my first deep breath of the adventure.
While away, I was still fighting thoughts like: I am falling short, letting someone down, taking too much time away, or a spicy combo of the myriad of other thoughts that resemble these. They came and went quickly, but the sting of each thought lingered. That part really irritated me. My brilliant, bold brain knew I needed the time away, so why couldn’t the rest of me simply fall in line and enjoy each moment? My self-talk was filled with –> I KNOW BETTER.
Half-way through my trip, I was sitting by the fireplace, sipping a mug of hot cider, when that Still Small Voice whispered in my ear. These are the words I scribbled down in that very moment:
It’s time to embrace self-care.
(I admit that there may have been a tiny eye roll as I wrote this out…lol)
You are worthy.
You do enough, more than enough.
(at this point, I was a puddle of tears and tissues)
Take a moment and breathe deeply.
Close your eyes.
Smile as your fiery breath flows through your body.
REVEL IN THIS MOMENT.
Fiercely focus on right now.
Tomorrow is not yours to worry about, today is yours to LIVE.
That last line struck me.
It is so beautifully Biblical… Matthew 6:34 has been telling me to “let tomorrow worry about itself” my ENTIRE LIFE. At that moment, I finally let it go. I felt a shift inside me that created true space for reveling in the moments and enjoying my quiet time ahead – like never before.
I know there is more to learn about truly slowing down and sweetly serving myself. As I look through all of the photos I snapped during this adventure it is clear this trip truly helped me level UP those skills and for that I am eternally grateful.
Today, my heart’s desire is to encourage you to embrace your downtime.
Regardless of if it is 5 minutes, 5 days, or 5 weeks.
Revel in each moment. Soak it in.
My dearest, YOU are in control of how full or empty your tank is and when it is refilled.
Don’t wait for someone else to do it for you, to buy the plane ticket, to say YES, I’ll join you… DO IT, now.
Want to fire up your soultank time?
Weave in experiences you will never forget to remind you of the JOY you feel when you fill your own soultank – like me…
I PAINTED PUMPKINS.
I ATE ICE CREAM WITH MY GRAMMY.
I WALKED A LLAMA.