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How To Uncover Your Purpose! - Debra Trappen
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How To Uncover Your Purpose!


Many people (including me) have interchanged the terms PURPOSE and WHY…

When we do this – it is easy to get PURPOSE confused with VALUES and jumbling them up into our “WHY”!  

So, I am now focused on getting VERY CLEAR with the difference in my writing and, going forward, will be specific and on “purpose”! :)


Nearly every single day, I have a conversation with a friend, client, or Fire Up! community member about defining their “PURPOSE”.  

  • Some people have a foggy idea of what theirs is…
  • Some have NO ideas what it is… 
  • Others are so overwhelmed by the concept of UNCOVERING THEIR PURPOSE that they shrink back and hide from the process… 
  • Most of the time – people are getting their purpose confused with their motivations (aka Values)


Let’s start with clarifying the term PURPOSE.


  • Your purpose is what I love to call your Tribal Talent – a special skill/gifting/talent YOU bring to the table that your village, squad, team, tribe, family, etc. seeks from YOU – ALL THE TIME!
  • You feel it comes so naturally to you that everyone must have it and it really isn’t that special.
  • Your “purpose” or skill is NOT unique, but how you do it and where you focus it – IS UNIQUE TO YOU!

    This is usually the mind bender for many… There is this misconception that we are the only person who has our purpose. We look to Mother Theresa, Gandhi, or Oprah… and think our purpose should look like theirs in size, shape, and vision.
    I am here to tell you – YOU can be the Oprah of YOUR tribe!  Just because Oprah says the things she says to her mega audience, does not preclude you from adding your own sizzle and style and then sharing it with YOUR audience – even when that audience is 10 people.Every tribe needs a Tony Robbins, Ina Garten, Madeleine Albright, Joel Osteen, Christine Caine, Brene Brown, and so on…  


Now, let me share an example of how PURPOSE, WHY, & VALUES can be confused:


I work quite a bit with GenX Women who are starting their own businesses, getting ready to reenter the workforce, or trying to figure out WHAT IS NEXT!  Some are raising small children…  Some are raising tweens… Some are already empty-nesters.

When we start the “purpose” conversations, most of them cringe.

Many feel guilty or shameful for “being this age” and not knowing what it is.  (Shame off you, if this is you, too!)

Many automatically say their CHILDREN are their purpose.  Regardless if they are women who have been blessed to raise their children 24/7 and call themselves SAHM’s, Chief Home Operator, Queen Of The Castle, or (fill in the blank) OR if they are killing it in Corporate America or as a business owner to bring home the bacon…

This is where I put on the breaks.


First, we start with a shame OFF you session and reaffirm that NOW is the time to define it before another day passes by!

Second, I say this with love: Your children are not your purpose!

YourLifesPurposeIsNotDirectlyConnectedToOneSpecificPersonYour purpose is not directly connected to another SPECIFIC person, period.  Your children are a divine gift, a significant responsibility, and a magnificent motivation… but, they are NOT your purpose on the planet.  

THINK ABOUT IT THIS WAY–> Do you believe that your purpose did not begin until you gave birth or that it will abruptly end when they move out of the house?

This is why I believe so many parents (mostly Mama Bears) deal with such depression when their children move out and start lives of their own.  It WOULD BE depressing if you thought your life’s purpose was over when that happened!  Rejoice in the fact that your purpose is still fully intact when your littles walk out the door.

The amazing news is that being a parent is allowing you to tap into your purpose – in some way, shape or form. When you define your purpose you will start to see it in your interactions with your children, spouse, friends, family, colleagues, and beyond. Those are moments to celebrate!

To give some clarity to this, here are some examples of simple “PURPOSE STATEMENTS” from past clients:

  • I am the peace maker.
  • I entertain people.
  • I listen to and comfort people.
  • I connect people.
  • I inspire people.
  • I teach people.
  • I solve problems.
  • I feed people.
  • I encourage people.
  • I speak the truth.


You get the idea and can definitely see why many parents get their purpose confused with parenting.  Parenting taps into ALL of these talents. *wink*

The next step is uncovering YOUR purpose so that you can see it flow every single day – and celebrate it!



she took a deep breathNow, take a deep breath.

(Did you do it?  I will wait.)

Know this—>  there is no “MUST USE” formula to define your purpose.   You have creative freedom, flexibility, and time to write, revise, and refine it… as long as it takes to get you there.

To get you rolling, and hopefully inspire you, let me share my “purpose”, as well as my personal passion statement.

I believe you can share your purpose in 11 words or less… Here is mine:


(Sure, you could also say: get people “unstuck”, help people find clarity in chaos, inspire them to take things to an 11 with oooodles of ideas and straight-talk peeps to their truth… but the end result of all of these is feeling FIRED UP and inspired to move forward.)

Just reading this fires ME up. :)

Are you ready to get going on yours?  No idea where to start?  Well, here is the thing…  start with listening.  Why?


“Oh, (insert your name) you always _(fill in the blank)__.   (teach me something new when I see you; comfort me in my time of need; make me laugh until my cheeks hurt; tell me just what I need to hear – whether I like it or not; remind me to have fun; or….) 

My entire life people have come to me for REAL, TRUE advice, and counsel.  The divine gift to see through the “stuff”, be a positive, uplifting, truth-telling guide, who inspires confidence and progress has ALWAYS been with me.  When my life’s statement was written in 2002… it felt RIGHT.  

It still does.

The mission of this post is to inspire you to take action, get closer (and reach) clarity around your “purpose”… TODAY.

YOUR mission, should you choose to accept it, is simple.  Take some time tonight or this weekend…. pour yourself a cup of coffee, tea, or a velvety glass of wine… find a sunny spot… and ask yourself these six questions:


2016-05-17 18.20.44 1: What conversations set my soul on fire?

 2: What activities do I get passionately lost in… and loose track of time?

 3: What is my “tribal talent”?  What do MY people typically ask me for help doing, getting through, experiencing, etc?

 4: If I could only share/teach one message to one group of people… what would my message be and who would those people be?

5: What comes SO NATURALLY to me that I believe everyone else “does it, too”?

 6: What are my top 11 Core Values?
(If you haven’t defined your values yet, download my FREE core values exercise!)


Now, don’t rush through these questions, but try not spend too much time laboring over them either.  Trust yourself.  Write down the answers that immediately come to mind.

Ultimately, living your life with purpose, defining and embracing your reason for being on the planet, will allow you to truly focus on things that matter most.  

One of the most exciting parts of this process is that you may not even realize how close you are to living your purpose OUT LOUD.  So, before you go for a full “reinvention”, stop and shift your paradigm when you look at what you are doing now.  If you are not on the ideal career path, you may be able to find greater purpose through how you do what you do right now, experience great meaning in and from it, and pour your greatness into your world as you look for your next step!

My dear reader, I am so excited for you and the journey you are embarking on…

Smile, you are about to give yourself an amazing gift!





breakout-book-talk-antiqueIf you want to dig in and do some serious ME work, I do personal brand transformation consulting on a select basis.

If you want 1:1 sessions, read more here:

If you have a group of 5-8 people who want to go to through the process, read more here:




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