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Preparing To Negotiate? - Debra Trappen
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Preparing To Negotiate?

It’s time to prepare to go into a room where you will be negotiating.  What do you do to prepare?


Over the years, we have all given and gotten oooooooodles of tips on negotiating.

Things like:

  • Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want
  • Listen to understand, not reply
  • Know your facts and successes
  • Know what your best alternative to your ideal outcome is
  • Shoot for the stars and expect the best outcome
  • Say what you need to say and let it be silent.  Don’t fill the quiet with extra words.
  • See everyone in their undies
  • …and so on and so on.


A dear friend of mine asked: “What advice do you have for me before I go into a career negotiation meeting?”… and my mind went a totally different direction than those listed above.  I thought of all of the other things I do BEFORE I walk in the door to negotiate.  The rituals I have to prepare my MIND for the experience.

? Lay off extra caffeine/coffee the morning of the meeting.  Sip tea or water instead.

SuperWomanStance? RIGHT BEFORE you go in, hit the powder room. While looking yourself deeply in the eyes – in the mirror – do a superwoman pose and end with your arms in the air repeating your chosen affirmations.  It may feel silly at the start, but it feels so good when you’re done!

Here are some examples:

I am worthy of a job I love.
I am worthy of the fees I charge.
I find it easy to remain calm under pressure.
Being confident comes naturally to me.
I deserve to have my dream job.
I have all the skills I need to get this promotion/raise.

? Calm your nerves and center yourself.  Take a few minutes before your meeting and meditate/prayer/sit in silence.

? If you feel like you’re going to cry, and don’t want to at that moment, push your tongue into the soft palette above your top front teeth.

? Essential oils to the rescue:


~ Lavender will calm you.
~ Bergamot will energize you.
Depending on what you need, put 2-3 drops of that oil in the palm of your hand, rub your hands together and BREATHE IT IN, 3-5 deep breaths
~ Add some peppermint to your water and it will help you if you get a dry mouth when stressed, as well as give you confidently fresh breath!

? Surround yourself with champions you TRUST. These are the people who will lift you up and speak truth-filled, empowering words into and over you before, during and after your meeting.   Make sure you let them know when you need them – they don’t read minds!

What is your ritual before you

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