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5 Reasons We Don't Ask For Referrals + RADICAL Ways To Crush Them! - Debra Trappen
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5 Reasons We Don’t Ask For Referrals + RADICAL Ways To Crush Them!

Today, Rebekah and I hopped on The Radical Entrepreneur Facebook Page for Day 5 of our 30-Day Challenge!  Be sure to pop on over to the page, like it, and get ready to join us on this fun adventure!

Our topic today:

What Holds You Back From Asking For Referrals?

Here are five reasons in GOLD… and my sassy thoughts and replies below each one:


I get it. No one “likes” to hear NO. However, in this context, rejection is beyond getting a no.  The fear is actually that the person will cut you from their life because you are asking for more business or for introductions to others they know. Why would someone that you’ve done a good job for do this? It is a self-limiting and business crushing belief. 

Context people. 

YOU ARE ASKING FOR A REFERRAL… not for someone to give you their firstborn.

If you served them well, it is more likely that they will be more than happy to help you uncover new business and serve their connections!

Remember, if you are attracting the ideal clients – they will also be more than happy to help you… they GET YOU. If your past clients are not willing to refer you biz – it is time to ask yourself if you are truly serving the best product to your ideal clients.

2. If I ask my past clients, they will feel used or imposed upon.

Well, they won’t feel used or imposed upon if you are serving them well.  If you are embracing the GIVE Give Give ASK method your connections won’t feel used.

While I know most high-performance entrepreneurs have already done this, there are many business owners out there who have been blessed to build a successful, six-figure business by an amazing product people clamor for – and not having to do this step.  To those, I say – imagine how much more you will be able to do going forward if you start giving and serving on a new level!

It is also a great fear to FLIP.  Ask yourself: WHO can I give referrals to?
I truly believe that when we start thinking of HOW WE can serve others, magic happens.  We get out of our own head, get unstuck, and start moving forward.

Fire Up!–> Write a list of the last 5 people who served you WELL.  Next, write them a recommendation and/or refer them some business! Pay it forward, my friend.

3. It will ruin my reputation.

Oh, my! You think: What if they think I am a failure or see I am not an overnight success? Will my past clients think I am needy?

Stop it. 

Would you prefer your reputation FLOPS because you don’t deliver on your promises or go under?  Go to the people you have done exceptional work for and ask them if they know someone you can serve at the same level.  Most of us want to help others – and giving a referral is a DOUBLE WIN because we help the person we are referring AND the person we are referring business to.

APPROVAL ADDICTION steals your joy and robs the world of your amazingness.

A slice of sass and moxie:
You have ZERO responsibility to live up to what other people think you should be, do, or become. Shake off the shame and repeat this to yourself every single time you start feeling “less than”.

4. My connections WILL REFER ME when they want to…

Oh dear lord. Really? Because it is the world’s responsibility to think about YOU and YOUR NEEDS during their day?
Dale Carnegie’s quote shines a light on why this is so ludicrous: “When we are not engaged in thinking about some definite problem, we usually spend about 95 percent of our time thinking about ourselves.”

If that is correct – then we are only thinking about others 5% of the time.

The odds are slim that UNLESS YOU ASK – you will pop onto someone’s radar during that

5. Am I actually afraid of success?

Why do we fear success? Well, to name a few things: Change will happen. More responsibility will be given to you. You will impact more people, change more lives, and fulfill your purpose.


My Darlings, please give yourself grace when they scare you then LEVERAGE YOUR FEAR and break-on-thru to a divine freedom on the other side!


Have you ever heard yourself saying these things – either out loud or inside your beautiful mind?

Next time, flip these negative thoughts and remind yourself it is selfish to withhold what you have to offer to others because you are worried what some people may think of you.


*drops the mic*



Dearest Entrepreneur,

When you are ready to move to the next level of 6 or 7 figures… and have the 8 figures on your vision board – you need to do things differently than you ever have.

Now is the time, this is the place, and YOU ARE THE ONE!

Join Rebekah and me for our next free web event and learn how to find your focus, ditch the senseless hustle, and finally define, design, and live life on your own terms!



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