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Ready to stop wasting your time? - Debra Trappen
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Ready to stop wasting your time?

A friend posted a quote the other day that really spoke to me…  it was about how we waste too much time trying to get the wrong people to understand us – specifically, those who already have their minds made up or who have no desire to understand us.

I thought to myself – how much time have my friends and I wasted chasing after people?

Most of us can relate… For example:
Have you ever sought to get others to understand your situations, perspectives, or experiences and they just wouldn’t listen?
OR… even though they already clearly made up their mind, you kept trying to get them to listen?

Now, I would like to suggest it is the time for a change. Let’s flip our focus from those people, step into our leadership armor and speak life into those we are meant to do life with – right now.

You see, for me, the reasons WHY those people are no longer in my life become so crystal clear, IN TIME. They usually needed to go to create margin for the new season in front of me where I would blossom and grow… a season I would not have been brave enough to step into before and certainly would not have if they remained in my circle or the situation we went thru did not occur. They serve a purpose in that season. Thank them and move on…

As leaders in our communities, workplaces, and homes – let us shine a BOLD LIGHT.

Let’s embrace the spirit of inspiring others to reach their potential, supporting them in times of trouble, reflecting and praying over counsel we receive (ALL of it), and always, always listening intently to our beloveds versus shaming them into submission, silence, seclusion. A true leader chooses to inspire others to reach their potential, support in times of trouble, reflect and pray over counsel received, and listen intently Versus shaming others into submission, silence, or seclusion when they disagree. Choose wisely.

Friend, you and I have heard this saying – and know it is true:
“What you focus on flourishes.”

We also know when people tell us who they are, we need to believe them.

When they show us how they treat people, we need to understand that is how WE will also be treated.

When their pattern is they: seek to understand, are slow to anger, and work through the tough situations – expect this is what you will experience during the trials.

When their pattern is to cut people out of their lives instead of seeking to understand – expect this will happen to you.

If someone doesn’t have a desire to listen or understand, do your best to inform them, but don’t become fixated or force it.

Instead, whether you have been wronged or have wronged – lead forward:
1. Decide not to give up or lose faith in your values or vision.
2. Humble yourself. Be real and ask yourself – what was my part in this?  What is MY lesson?
3. Submit to the Spirit for guidance.
4. LISTEN.  Ask questions, seek clarity, find a resolution.
5. Be teachable. Please, always embrace the gift of learning and growing!
6. Let God do a work in you.
7. Lead others to do the same.  Don’t let your lesson lay dormant and unused.
8. Bless others along the way.
9. Don’t judge others.
10. LOVE and forgive others.
11. Live your BEST LIFE out loud – with joy, dignity, and passion.


Along the way, be sure to intentionally choose your thoughts, words, actions, and connections… and do it WISELY.